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Inspired to Stop Eating in Secret by Lisa?

Were you inspired to stop eating in secret by our secret food eater, Lisa? If so, Dr. Oz wants to hear your story.

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Inspriations from within

During my conquest for normalcy, I have discovered the pressure to comply. With this comes binge eating. It is amazing how many people are uncomfortable talking about overeater, binge eating, and being fat. Some how they feel that it is contagious. If we talk about it my ass instantly gets fat. This may be true.  I find talking about it may it come true for me. I find the truth in why and how I eat. Everyday, I make an effort to knowledge my disorder and make it better.

My trip to the doctors

Today, I was at my doctors office to address some long term issues that I have. Of course, these issues are related to my years of over eating and abusing myself. It is amazing that innocent food and be so damaging. Well to  my dismay, the area where the employees gathered was fulled with boxes of candy. I could not believe that people still send pounds of fat, lard, sugar and disgust to friends, co-workers, loved ones at the holidays. What happen to the boxes of fruit and Poinsettias????

Thougt of the Day.

We can reverse years of damage to our bodies by deciding to raise our standards for ourselves, then living differently. Old wounds heal, injuries repair, and the whole system improves with just a few changes in what we put into our bodies and how we move them.

You are never cured until the journey is over.

I have struggled every day with my addiction. I need food to live. Food is the fuel my body needs. Why then is it the enemy. How do you really come to peace with eating. Shouldn't it be just a simple task for survival? Where in my life did it go wrong. I will continue to question myself and dig deeper for the answers until i can control my addiction. Really is control the solution or just a mannerism to politely excuse your ridiculous behavior of over induliging.

Back to Oz

I am  trying to make it back to Dr Oz for an update show. OMG, Life is just constantly getting in the way. First the flu, then my tooth and now work.I am hoping my therapist Judith Banker can make it. My sister too. They also are looking for anyone that has been inspired by my segment that would like to appear on the show. Soooooooooo.. if you are able to come on the show with me...please email me Porzadek@comcast.net. I will stand by you and support you in your journey to recovery.

Thank god Thanksgiving is over.

I maintained control of my addiction for just one day. I guess for the first time in my life enjoying the company was more important than the food. Its actual was nice to not obsess over food. Keep all things in prospective. Now on to Christmas.

Still Sick

I won't be going to New York this week as planned. I am sicker than a dog. Lots of things still to do. As for eating well .....when  you are constantly coughing food is not that appealing.

Sick Sick Sick

I have been sick for over two weeks. Actually I am tired of being sick. I typically am never sick. What's going on with me???

Off to Dr. Oz

They are finalizing my return to the Dr. Oz show. I am not sure I am ready to go back. I have lost a couple of pounds ....around 16. But when you are morbidly obese this is not alot. Yes, I am addressing my binge eating, but really this is over yet. Am I cured...hell no. It took years for me to realize I was an compulsive eater. It certainly isn't going to disappear in a day. I have alot of things to address and I am sure I will fail at some. So haven't even peaked at recovery. Well New York, here I come.


Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.- Thomas Edison

Hungry!!!

How is it a human can be so hungry? I have been contemplating this issue ever since I discovered that I am a binge eater. Is it hunger or is it failure to recognize the other wants and desires in my life. I have used food for so long as a comfort that I confuse the really passion that lays within. Without a passion for life, what else possible could arouse my spirit, but food. I know with further soul searching I may discover the answer. But for now, I must focus on the " one day at a time " theory that I am adjusting to as well.

The After Math

Oh my goodness, should Halloween be outlawed or what. Halloween is to the binger, as New Year Eve is to the alcholic. I can say that I didn't binge on any candy. I even baked cookies, cupcakes, and brownies for our company that come over that night. I stayed in control of my eating and redirected myself every time I ventured to the candy bowl. Now it gets a little and I mean a little easy every day when I focus. I find that I need to have alot of rest and help to stay focused. Every day I am able to look at the reasons why I eat and some how get though the day without binging.

Tomorrow is Halloween.

Yes, tomorrow is Halloween. Is this the official binge holiday. How years have I binged on this day. Really who makes a day for just begging for candy. I am going to be good. If it kills me.

Support Groups

It is so important to choose the right support group. I started one the week after I left the Dr Oz show and not really sure if it is the right one for me. If you are looking for a support group www.oa.org is a great place to start.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels......

Today, I am beginning a new week of things I need to do for myself. Yes, just for me. My love affair with food has caused me to never take care of myself. I am official breaking up with food today. I am controlling myself for today. That's all I can ask of myself.

I was sucessful

I felt a little victory today. I said I was going to enjoy something sweet and not have guilt. I did. Me, my son and husband went on a halloween oriented trip, where we trick or treated in a old fashion village. Children and Adult were welcomed to collect goodies. I waited till the end not even tempted by the bag of sugar. Not even indulging in the donuts at the final stop. ( never really been a fan of donuts...but remember I am a binge eater) I enjoyed the cider which I had three cups of. As we drove home, I choose to eat my caramel green apple sucker which is one of my favorites and two snack size candy bars. That was it. Former Lisa, entire bag of candy gone on the ride home. How accomplished do I feel, not really sure yet. I am still trying to adknowledge my eating disorder.

I hope to inspire just one person today,

Well it's the weekend and that is the worst time for me and food. I have alot of mixed feeling after the show aired. Tons of people have told me that I am brave. Brave is probably not how I would phrase it. Maybe crazy. Because really the way I eat has been uncovered. I fretted about this day and it's here. My hope is that my story has inspired someone to take a deeper look at themselves and reach out for help. I am finding therapy to be very instrumental in my recovery with food and talking to the people closest to me. They hold alot of answers that I was not able to ask or really willing to. Talking to my mother who I discovered has a eating disorder. MY MOTHER 5'1 no more than 110 ......really eating disorder. She struggles everyday to do the right thing. Remember the apple never falls far from the tree. Let's make one change today and see how it effects our lifes. Today, I am going to enjoy something sweet without guilt.

Dr Oz Show October 8, 2009

As the show I appeared on, gets closer to airing, I have been reflecting on my journey. When the producers first contacted me in June 2009, things have transpired a great deal for me. I know I am not the same person from 90 days ago. With the help of the Doctor Oz show, I have been able to reveal some things that I have not addressed for thirty years. I am starting to understand the eating disorder that plagues my soul. All I can say is wow, I never knew it would open so many doors. With the show about to air in less than twenty-fours hours, I have a little apprehension of how I will appear to the general public. Maybe some will be confused or disgusted by my secretive eating habits, for others a relief that they are not alone. But most importantly, I am not alone in my stuggle to recovery. In the beginning, I worried about all of that. Now, I know I am few steps closer to regaining my life. I hope with me coming forward and telling the world, I can help someone else who struggles everyday like myself. Along this journey, I have alot of people to thank. To my mother, who was honest and upfront about her own struggles. To my sister, who is hand in hand with me on this journey and I support her as well. To my children, who thank god don't have my disorder. Most importantly thank you to Judith Banker (founder)of the Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, Michgan. You have given me a gift that I could not even imagine giving myself. To the producers of Dr. Oz., Allie - who is as cute as button. Cathy, I know we are sisters from another mother. You rock girl. Dan Durkin - You are hot!!! oops I mean a very nice looking gentlemen tehetehe. I enjoyed the adventure. Most graditude to Dr. Mehmet Oz, probably the only human on earth who gets the right to out me on National TV. Wow. Now it is up to me to change my life and make a difference. I appreciate the tools and the support. Bottom line it's up to me. I am confident that I will succeed. “You only ever grow as a human being if you’re outside your comfort zone.” – Percy Ceru

Trainer

I have been training with my son, who is a personal trainer. The first few days have been grueling. He is relentless. On Saturday, he said something that reminding me of all my weight loss venture. " Why do you give up so easy. Oh my now I have to do more soul searching to fiqure out that answer. Needless to say, he is working me so hard that I have lost 8lbs in five days. I am focus and will to stop the binge eating,

A long weekend

Labor day weekend is here and that means summer is over. Wow, where did it go. Well a long weekend for me could be potetial dangerous. Lot's of time on my hands.

One day at a time

It has been three weeks since I appeared on the Dr. Oz show. Prior to that, I had a secret that only I knew. I am a binge eater. Wow, saying that out loud is liberating, yet scary. I have secretly eaten my entire life to different degrees. Now at 46, I have reached out for help with this insane disorder. Believe me, I was and still am desperate to cure myself. I don't know how to stop eating. This time I am looking deep to find the answer and solve the issues of my binge eating. My entire life I have been surrounded by people who have issues with food. Many people in my family are morbidly obese including myself. My father's family has issues with not getting enough food. ( but if you ask them they say no but explain to you in their own story of not getting their share) My mother's family frowned on being fat and was constantly reminded that daddy doesn't like fat little girls. So, really did I have a chance of being a normal weight. Probably not. My siblings struggle with their own demons as well. Weight has been an issue for me since I was able to choose, purchase, and prepare my own food. I grown up in a house where my father was always on a diet. ( at least that's how I perceived it.) I secretly ate as a child.

So what makes a forty-six year old woman go on national TV and reveal to the world that I eat secretly. First, I would say desperation. My health has greatly diminished in the past coulple of years and I need to address this now. So this is where my story actually begins. Thorough daily bloggs, I hope to pin point my eating disorder and make it valid. My name is Lisa Porzadek and I am a binge eater.